So for those of you who don't know my husband and I have been TTC for over 8 months and have had no success. My sister in-law got pregnant during this time and it has been very hard for me. But my sister(who is going through the same thing as me) showed me a blog and this quote stuck with me!!
"You are not just your infertility. Don’t let it define every aspect of your life and hold you back from enjoying what you have now. Don’t let yourself be trapped in the thought that you must not be a good enough person to get a baby (believe me, I’ve been there), because it’s not true. There are so many good, strong, faithful women with families of their own, but being good is not a precursor to having children. It seems that any fifteen-year-old pothead can have a baby, but remember that, just as it takes a strong woman to raise a righteous family, it takes an equally strong–and in some ways, stronger–woman to be able to withstand the pain and resentment that comes with infertility.
You’re strong. God loves you. He has always known you would struggle with infertility and it never once made Him love you less. Remember that, and embrace the joy whenever and wherever you can."
I am trying very hard to not let my "infertility" define every aspect of my life, to be the center of my universe. It's hard but I know that with time and with help from my Heavenly Father through the atonement I can begin to live a full life.
I also suffer from depression so my infertility has only made it worse. But recently I bought called "Deliverance from Depression: Finding Hope and Healing Through The Atonement of Christ" it's by G.G. Vandagriff, Greg Vandagriff, and David P. Vandagriff. Depression is a complicated this but this book explains it perfectly....
"When you have depression, the only thing that seems to exist inside you is a void so deep and so dark that you alternately fear for your life on the one hand, and wish for extinction on the other. You echo Nephi's anguished cry, 'O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. . . . And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins"
"When you have depression, your nervous system stops functioning properly, which means that all the nerve ending that should be communicating the visual and sensory details of the scene before you-as well as the love you should be feeling for your spouse, your children, and your creator- are not doing their job. you cannot feel because in a very literal sense your brain is broken."
"A broken brain is a physical condition-it has no more to do with personal righteousness than the ravaging physical effects of cancer. However, a key difference between depression and other illnesses is that the symptoms of depression are largely mental and emotion. A depressed person can rarely feel anything but blankness. When you are depressed, it is very unusual to be able to feel the Spirit- not because you have sinned, but because you can't feel ANY positive emotions: hope, joy, peace, happiness, charity, or love. For this reason as Elder Alexander B. Morrison has counseled, a depressed person must be careful of the buffeting of the adversary. "Those who suffer from mental illness, who are burdened with pain, depression and confusion must, I believe, be especially on their guard against the devil and his agent"
The book goes on to explain how we can be delivered from depression through the atonement. I am working on using the atonement in my life not just to help me with not being able to be a mother at this time but with my depression as a whole. I hope someday I will be rid of it forever.
P.S.: You can buy "Deliverance from Depression: Finding Hope and Healing Through The Atonement of Christ" by G.G. Vandagriff, Greg Vandagriff, and David P. Vandagriff at Deseret Book
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Friday, May 16, 2014
Don't Tear Down
My husband wrote this:
Ok, so recently I've noticed a lot of religious conflict happening in the most random places and times all over the world. This isn't anything new. You find it especially in the internet, in places where you don't expect to get harassed for your beliefs, such as your own Facebook page or even as simple an app as ifunny or Instagram. With so much confusion in the world due to rights being torn down and tyrants rising up in other countries, and even corruption within our own, it's not surprising that everyone blames God for this time of turmoil.
I'm a member of the LDS church, or Mormons, as we've come to be know. Because of centuries of rumors and falsehoods spread about us, usually we get a bad rep in peoples eyes. This isn't new to us. The LDS people have been persecuted since the beginning of the restoration of the church.
The sad part, though, is the persecution that comes from the members within the church. I have many nonmember friends. There has been more than one instance where they have been made fun of or left out because of the religious status, or lack thereof. It breaks my heart to see them, children of God, persecuted by the very people who claim to be God's emissaries on this Earth knowing that because of their actions they won't ever allow themselves to investigate further. Who would want to be a member of a church whose members judge others, demean those different than them, and jump to the worst conclusions of people who are simply seeking peace from God?
And that's not even the worst of it. There are many members of our church who feel unwanted, unloved, and sometimes directly hated by their fellow members. It causes rifts where there should be bonds, and darkness where there should be light. Many of these members end up leaving the church and turning completely against God.
Now, I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true. The actions of these members mistreating those around them does not waver my faith in my God. It hurts my soul, but it doesn't break my testimony. The famous saying in the church is that the church is true but the people aren't. Well this is my call to repentance, folks. It's time we stood up and joined the ranks of truth, and not just in testimony, but in actions of kindness and understanding as well.
Everyone upon this Earth, no matter the color, religious or sexual or political preference, are children of God. They should be treated that way.
Now I'm about to say something I hope you take to heart: Don't tear don't the faith of others! It doesn't matter your religion. If a person has faith in God or themselves, no matter the sect they belong to, then let that faith grow. Too often people find a reason to destroy or demean. Well folks, times are changing. Our human desires to demean and destroy is causing the destruction of our very way of life. Learn to understand and improve upon, for that is the way Christ taught, is it not?
There are many commandments in the scriptures that we as a people and as persons should follow. But the greatest commandment God gave us was to love God above all others and to love our neighbors as ourselves. Again, in this, I see that which I had said above, and I repeat: Do not tear down the faith of others!
I pray we can all come to this understanding.
For those of you who are members, allow me to remind you of something that is an important part of our faith. We believe that once Christ returns to this Earth, he will accept all those who believe in Him and have strived to keep the commandments, and they will all have the opportunity to reign with God in what we believe is the highest degree of glory. That means all faiths. We have no right to judge those who belong to another church. We are all working together, or should be working together, to help the children of God return to him, all of them. He gives us endless chances to repent and return to Him. And when we blatantly deter others from faith in Him by judging them because of their religion and lifestyle we are getting in the way of His out reached hands!
I served as a Mormon missionary in Nicaragua about four years ago. There were times I was judged by the color of my skin, for my religion, and even my sexual preference. So trust me when I say that I know how it feels to be the different one in the crowd. My life was threatened at times for my religion. And those I taught were treated the same way, by members of our church and others alike. It was the hardest time in my life. But because of those years I can now stand and say that I know the worth of souls to God, and it is great! That is why when somebody who has spent their whole life professing to know God, whether part of my religion or another, rips out the faith of another from under them it infuriates me to the core! I've always stayed silent on these matters, as I don't like to cause a scene. But I can't do things that way anymore. I can't sit by and watch as others cause religious war for the same God. We all are His children and we all are trying to return to Him. Let us not get in our own way.
Do not tear down the faiths of others. Do research before making conclusions. See the best in people that are different than you. Be selfless to them. Serve them. Visit other churches and see what they believe! Make friends with those others reject. Did not Christ heal the lepers when all other rejected them?
We all deserve a chance at happiness and religious freedom. It's what caused this country's start, religious independence. So stop the squabbling of meaningless disputes.
I know many will scoff at this short article, tear it down, or do everything they can to demean me and my beliefs, hiding behind the internet anonymity. It will not work. I believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. I do my best to accept all people, no matter their race or lifestyle. I am not perfect in this, but I am trying. I've gotten to the point in my life where I don't care what others think of me, but more what I think of others, and aligning it with how my Father in Heaven thinks of them. I hope we all can do the same.
Ok, so recently I've noticed a lot of religious conflict happening in the most random places and times all over the world. This isn't anything new. You find it especially in the internet, in places where you don't expect to get harassed for your beliefs, such as your own Facebook page or even as simple an app as ifunny or Instagram. With so much confusion in the world due to rights being torn down and tyrants rising up in other countries, and even corruption within our own, it's not surprising that everyone blames God for this time of turmoil.
I'm a member of the LDS church, or Mormons, as we've come to be know. Because of centuries of rumors and falsehoods spread about us, usually we get a bad rep in peoples eyes. This isn't new to us. The LDS people have been persecuted since the beginning of the restoration of the church.
The sad part, though, is the persecution that comes from the members within the church. I have many nonmember friends. There has been more than one instance where they have been made fun of or left out because of the religious status, or lack thereof. It breaks my heart to see them, children of God, persecuted by the very people who claim to be God's emissaries on this Earth knowing that because of their actions they won't ever allow themselves to investigate further. Who would want to be a member of a church whose members judge others, demean those different than them, and jump to the worst conclusions of people who are simply seeking peace from God?
And that's not even the worst of it. There are many members of our church who feel unwanted, unloved, and sometimes directly hated by their fellow members. It causes rifts where there should be bonds, and darkness where there should be light. Many of these members end up leaving the church and turning completely against God.
Now, I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true. The actions of these members mistreating those around them does not waver my faith in my God. It hurts my soul, but it doesn't break my testimony. The famous saying in the church is that the church is true but the people aren't. Well this is my call to repentance, folks. It's time we stood up and joined the ranks of truth, and not just in testimony, but in actions of kindness and understanding as well.
Everyone upon this Earth, no matter the color, religious or sexual or political preference, are children of God. They should be treated that way.
Now I'm about to say something I hope you take to heart: Don't tear don't the faith of others! It doesn't matter your religion. If a person has faith in God or themselves, no matter the sect they belong to, then let that faith grow. Too often people find a reason to destroy or demean. Well folks, times are changing. Our human desires to demean and destroy is causing the destruction of our very way of life. Learn to understand and improve upon, for that is the way Christ taught, is it not?
There are many commandments in the scriptures that we as a people and as persons should follow. But the greatest commandment God gave us was to love God above all others and to love our neighbors as ourselves. Again, in this, I see that which I had said above, and I repeat: Do not tear down the faith of others!
I pray we can all come to this understanding.
For those of you who are members, allow me to remind you of something that is an important part of our faith. We believe that once Christ returns to this Earth, he will accept all those who believe in Him and have strived to keep the commandments, and they will all have the opportunity to reign with God in what we believe is the highest degree of glory. That means all faiths. We have no right to judge those who belong to another church. We are all working together, or should be working together, to help the children of God return to him, all of them. He gives us endless chances to repent and return to Him. And when we blatantly deter others from faith in Him by judging them because of their religion and lifestyle we are getting in the way of His out reached hands!
I served as a Mormon missionary in Nicaragua about four years ago. There were times I was judged by the color of my skin, for my religion, and even my sexual preference. So trust me when I say that I know how it feels to be the different one in the crowd. My life was threatened at times for my religion. And those I taught were treated the same way, by members of our church and others alike. It was the hardest time in my life. But because of those years I can now stand and say that I know the worth of souls to God, and it is great! That is why when somebody who has spent their whole life professing to know God, whether part of my religion or another, rips out the faith of another from under them it infuriates me to the core! I've always stayed silent on these matters, as I don't like to cause a scene. But I can't do things that way anymore. I can't sit by and watch as others cause religious war for the same God. We all are His children and we all are trying to return to Him. Let us not get in our own way.
Do not tear down the faiths of others. Do research before making conclusions. See the best in people that are different than you. Be selfless to them. Serve them. Visit other churches and see what they believe! Make friends with those others reject. Did not Christ heal the lepers when all other rejected them?
We all deserve a chance at happiness and religious freedom. It's what caused this country's start, religious independence. So stop the squabbling of meaningless disputes.
I know many will scoff at this short article, tear it down, or do everything they can to demean me and my beliefs, hiding behind the internet anonymity. It will not work. I believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. I do my best to accept all people, no matter their race or lifestyle. I am not perfect in this, but I am trying. I've gotten to the point in my life where I don't care what others think of me, but more what I think of others, and aligning it with how my Father in Heaven thinks of them. I hope we all can do the same.
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