TTC

Just this past December Nate and I told my family that we are TTC (trying to conceive), and that we have been since the end of August(about 5 months). When I first told people (friends specifically) a lot of them freaked out, especially since Nate and I had only been married for about 2 months. But after praying and going to the temple we both new it was time to start our family. For months nothing happened, and I was ok with it most of the time. But lately it's been hard, especially after we found out that Nate's brother and his wife were expecting in December. I literally broke down, and even thinking about it now get's me all teary eyed. I feel horrible because I'm mad that they have something that I have been trying to get for months now. I can only imagine how my older sister feels, as she has been trying for over 8 months(as long as I have been married). I want to start a family so bad, but I also know I have to wait. But for those of you who know me, you know how impatient I am. I'm honestly just dying inside. I have never wanted something so bad in my life, and every time I get that negative pregnancy test or my period comes my heart breaks. I can't help but have thoughts that it's my fault that we aren't pregnant yet and that there is something wrong with me. I know I shouldn't be thinking that but I do it a lot more often than I lead on. The only thing I can do is remember that "Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who life the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come" Jeffery R. Holland.